It’s a fact that in the weeks preceding 14 February hearts and red inscriptions keep intruding our visions, reminding us (if we dared to forget) that Valentine’s Day is up around the corner. Changes abound as the holiday of love approaches: shopwindows fill up with warm crimson in the winter cold, bistros and bars prepare menus for couples, florists multiply their stock of roses and it’s hard to find a passenger on the public transportation without a flower or some kind of a present in their hands. Bottom line is: there’s no escape from the loveslide. Or is there?
Everybody has their ways
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It’s not new that many consider 14 February a negative experience and believe that kitsch is in its prime what with everything being pink, coated in whipped cream and with some candy sprinkles on top. Singles, heartbroken, disappointed but even those in happy relationship share the opinion that long before the sun rose on Valentine’s Day they had hated every minute of it and hoped it would end as soon as possible. Others, however, get up smiling and dash out to the flower shop, sinking into the scent of roses and hunting frantically for the perfect present to surprise their significant other or friends with. Again others observe the holiday as an unpretentious and intimate occasion without letting themselves be distracted by the rich flood of little hearts, make fun of the never-ending fineries and are simply happy with being together with their friends or partners. No matter which view you share, how you spend Valentine’s Day depends on yourself. You don’t have to identify with the campaign of love, you don’t even have to buy a rose, but it won’t hurt either if you do.
”I don’t really care about this day. It depends on my relationship whether we observe it or not. If my girlfriend wants it, it’s a good way for me to get a good grade. Though, for some, this day could be the savior of their relationship.” (Tomi, 24) “I think Valentine’s Day is a nice occasion, I can only feel sorry that in my time there was no such day. It’s good to see young people carrying flowers and presents, they’re so cute being nice to each other. I think if somebody’s in love, they would give anything to their partners.” (Ilona, 58) “It’s important to love being together on this day. Also, it’s a good opportunity to go out and have an intimate dinner somewhere and talk about each other, about our feelings. Sure, you can do it anytime, but this day’s solely for being happy together.” (István, 30) “I think those in love spend a lot of time together anyways, and they give presents to each other, too. I don’t think that Valentine’s Day calls for something better or bigger. Though there’s a Japanese Valentine’s Day custom I like very much. Girls cook chocolate for the boys they like, and the boys eat it if they feel the same way. A month later, on the so-called ‘white day’ they give white chocolate to the girls as a sign of their affection.” (Reni, 14)A little history
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Valentine’s Day has been observed in Hungary officially for 22 years but its history dates back as far as the Roman times. There are a number of theories about who Valentine, who, unbeknownst to himself, created a world-wide tradition, could have been. His story has many versions but the most frequent ones overlap. Most of the legends say Valentine was a Roman priest, who died in about 270 as a martyr due to Emperor Claudius’ persecution. Other sources tell of him as a young Christian who died during the persecution of Christians. He was captured and imprisoned for his faith, then killed on 14 February 269. During his time in prison he is said to have sent notes to his friends: “Don’t forget Valentine.” and “I love you.” Again other sources claim Valentine was a priest who married couples against Emperor Claudius’ law that temporarily prohibited marriages. But according to the most well-known version Valentine was imprisoned because he defied worshipping the pagan gods and he became friends with the daughter of the prison guard. He healed the girl with his prayer, and on the day of his execution he wrote her a letter and signed it: “Your Valentine”. Christians have always commemorated Valentine on 14 February and this day has come to be called Saint Valentine’s Day.
The custom spread mostly throughout Anglo-Saxon territories and in Western-Europe, then gradually it appeared in the United States in the form of cards and presents. Though we Hungarians also call this holiday Valentine’s Day, we commemorate another Valentine on 7 January, as well, who was a bishop in Germany. As time went by his story merged with that of the martyr Valentine and they came to be celebrated on the same day, 14 February. The German bishop helped primarily epileptic patients, so starting from 1997, 14 February is also the day for epilepsy.Valentine’s Day in HungaryAccording to tradition, if the weather is cold and dry on Valentine’s Day, there will be good harvest that year. But the same day was believed to be the day of the return of our migrating birds and the harbinger of spring. Also, it was believed that if a woman dreamt of birds on this day, she would soon get married. There is a great deal of Valentine’s Day superstitions, and here’s a collection of our favorites:
- Girls who go to the cemetery at midnight before Valentine’s Day can catch a glimpse of their future husbands. They have to sing a song and walk to the church 12 times. That done, the spirits will show them the man.
- If a girl eats an apple on Valentine’s Day that has exactly 9 seeds and put those seeds in the pocket of a boy without him noticing it, the boy will surely fall in love with the girl.
- If somebody takes water from nine different wells and has his or her loved one drink from all of them, the other person will love them forever.
- Those who love each other very much and want to be in love forever have to put each other’s hair in dough and after baking it they have to eat it. This way they will never leave each other.
- Some girls put some drops of mole blood in some food and had it eaten by a boy to make him love them.
- The lovers whose interlocking hands were washed with holy water by both of their mothers and then the water was poured on their heads were thought to be unseparable by any method. Neither hexes nor curses worked in their case.
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In South Koreathere’s a so-called Black Day besides Valentine’s Day meaning that those who didn’t get presents on 14 February will “mourn” on 14 April and eat jajagmyeon, that is, noodles with black sauce. In China this holiday is gaining more and more popularity as young people adopt ever more of the Western ways of life. Brazilian people observe Valentine’s Day on 12 June, on the day of the patron saint of marriage. February is not suitable for Brazilians anyway what with the carnival season wreaking havoc on the streets, which is more about unbound passion and physical attraction than intimate love. In Europe traditions vary by countries. In Italy lovers meet mostly on bridges or at lakes or rivers. At these places there are fixtures to padlock your bike to but couples use these for completely different reasons. They put only the padlock on with their names written on them, or if it’s large enough, their picture fitted. Having done this the lovers throw keys into the water and wish something as they do so. The wishes have to remain untold but presumable it’s eternal love they wish for. In Finland Valentine’s Day is held to be the day of friendship and on this occasion people send cards or give presents to those they like. In the Western Slavonic and Serbian territories Valentine’s Day coincides with the holiday of bird-wedding, since in the people believed that this is the first day of the mating season of birds. Contrary to all this in Hindu and Muslim cultures demonstrations are held and Valentine’s Day cards are burned to protest against the Western ways that have been spreading and biting ever bigger chunks of their indigenous cultures.
No matter how you plan on spending your Valentine’s Day, it’s important to let those be happy who would like to celebrate and accept those who are not fond of this holiday. And don’t panic if during the morning coffee after a love-intoxicated night you find the name of your significant other tattooed on your arm.
Stories and superstitions: wikipedia.hu, unnep.eu, kreativvalentin.uw.hu